tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74444722024-03-13T22:07:18.236+01:00Wandering where you willThere is surely nothing other than the single purpose of<br>the present moment. A man's whole life is a succession<br>of moment after moment, there will be nothing else to do,<br> and nothing else to pursue. Live life being true to the<br>single purpose of the moment. Go to the extent of living<br>single thought by single thought.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-40776593923141512292010-11-18T17:47:00.005+01:002010-11-18T20:18:35.679+01:00New Blog<div>I'm defecting to the dark side. Tumblr, that is.<br /><br />Come see me there: <a href="http://returningtosilence.tumblr.com/">http://returningtosilence.tumblr.com/</a></div>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-10540300471205037682010-11-16T23:45:00.002+01:002010-11-16T23:47:46.864+01:00Storm..all things have disappeared from me,<br />I can only recognize the sky:<br /><br />Blanketed by darkness and bathed by light<br />I lie flat beneath it<br />the way plains lie;<br />my eyes are open like ponds,<br />and the same flying<br />flees in them...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Rilke</span>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-52480752505444059942010-09-01T00:40:00.006+02:002010-09-01T00:54:46.905+02:00This you never told me about<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpt-J216BnwO4p8FXUXmKPbPXhmB9SsvYG6ZDhlDMf3KcekM7ClsFr6C8ixTh1Es01tN1WV0EKtqdCAFqYYjkRvSkAYINpXF4Id_YBeBALGcv1ym5zFWzO3rLLE3sAgjg8Kume/s1600/bilde+(2).JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpt-J216BnwO4p8FXUXmKPbPXhmB9SsvYG6ZDhlDMf3KcekM7ClsFr6C8ixTh1Es01tN1WV0EKtqdCAFqYYjkRvSkAYINpXF4Id_YBeBALGcv1ym5zFWzO3rLLE3sAgjg8Kume/s200/bilde+(2).JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511709297094804610" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKyDlNpjYPRE1PwutgcDYIvGNdQvxfXyJ_mON4bB1S6CHXimwyST0W8XNqFxJgAke-Hh10mZl37Hm1KdczFIZ_Y8elTLqzmZnv1UpMUYz4m42FdCMs1NrXLtdhwBtdqxuOQS2L/s1600/bilde+(1).JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKyDlNpjYPRE1PwutgcDYIvGNdQvxfXyJ_mON4bB1S6CHXimwyST0W8XNqFxJgAke-Hh10mZl37Hm1KdczFIZ_Y8elTLqzmZnv1UpMUYz4m42FdCMs1NrXLtdhwBtdqxuOQS2L/s200/bilde+(1).JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511708920264510386" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqDBS8KF6Y_-kWkHiHmE3DCgkOl23cSUgS1VkCP4MNahcS23SktLNyDskN_ZL4W2x9AC8X2rBNt3jgMI_0jdIUr1dV31_Sb5-0ORQ4pP-emWk67fKyIQgvdGuU6ibbUVbLn0Ty/s1600/bilde.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqDBS8KF6Y_-kWkHiHmE3DCgkOl23cSUgS1VkCP4MNahcS23SktLNyDskN_ZL4W2x9AC8X2rBNt3jgMI_0jdIUr1dV31_Sb5-0ORQ4pP-emWk67fKyIQgvdGuU6ibbUVbLn0Ty/s200/bilde.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511708757466104194" /></a><br /><br /><center><span style="font-style:italic;">You wanted silence itself;<br />just the word.</span></center>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-36166847518717862062010-08-27T22:23:00.003+02:002010-08-27T22:23:56.477+02:00Come on up to the house<object width="370" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-GugzLSbOQE?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-GugzLSbOQE?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="370" height="250"></embed></object>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-47879477332739867442010-08-02T15:20:00.002+02:002010-08-02T15:28:40.396+02:00Scenic World<object width="370" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MH6Ed4V3tpo&hl=nb_NO&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MH6Ed4V3tpo&hl=nb_NO&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="370" height="250"></embed></object><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">The lights go on<br />The lights go off<br />When things don't feel right<br />I lie down like a tired dog<br />Licking his wounds in the shade<br /><br />When I feel alive<br />I try to imagine a careless life<br />A scenic world where the sunsets are all<br />Breathtaking</span>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-8189111302675099462010-07-25T22:03:00.002+02:002010-07-25T22:05:02.114+02:00Mama, here comes midnightwith the dead moon in its jaws<span style="font-style:italic;">Must be the big star about to fall<br />Long dark blues<br />Will o the wisp<br />The big star is falling<br />Through the static and distance<br />A farewell transmission<br />Listen!</span>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-64275288042369739002010-07-24T00:00:00.003+02:002010-07-24T00:06:30.052+02:00The smoky walls of yesterday, and the glowing mould of fearGonna sweep this house clean out,<br />gonna blow out all of the lights.<br />Steer her home, tonight. <br /><br />A new chapter, a new perspective.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-76115664184182407262010-07-05T00:24:00.001+02:002010-07-05T00:32:15.933+02:00..and if she wants to see me......you can tell her that I'm easily found.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-80251454927516655082010-07-02T15:33:00.002+02:002010-07-02T23:10:55.381+02:00The Curse<object width="370" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gxWxiuJRApU&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gxWxiuJRApU&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="370" height="250"></embed></object><br /><br />She asks, are you cursed?<br />He says, I think that I'm cured.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-90870144171505929772010-07-01T23:34:00.002+02:002010-07-01T23:43:22.061+02:00No expectations<object width="370" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZFM9yPP0yzY&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZFM9yPP0yzY&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="370" height="250"></embed></object><br /><br /><div><i>Take me to the station</i></div><div><i>and put me on a train</i></div><div><i>I've got no expectations</i></div><div><i>to pass through here again</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Once I was a rich man</i></div><div><i>and now I am so poor</i></div><div><i>but never in my sweet, short life</i></div><div><i>have I felt like this before</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Your heart is like a diamond</i></div><div><i>you throw your pearls at swine</i></div><div><i>and as I watch you leaving me,</i></div><div><i>you pack my peace of mind</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Our love was like the water</i></div><div><i>that splashes on a stone</i></div><div><i>Our love is like our music</i></div><div><i>it's here, and then it's gone</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>So take me to the airport</i></div><div><i>and put me on a plane</i></div><div><i>I've got no expectations</i></div><div><i>to pass through here again</i></div>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-83382548834840042302010-07-01T23:09:00.002+02:002010-07-01T23:43:47.716+02:00The body burned away<object width="370" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ib6pUL5t8ok&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ib6pUL5t8ok&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="370" height="250"></embed></object><br /><br /><div><i>death as it shook you</i></div><div><i>you gave it a fool's look</i></div><div><i> you said,</i></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">I am an empty page to you</span></b></div><div><i>give me your hand,</i></div><div><i>give me your blood</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>don't misunderstand,</i></div><div><i>I once had all the words</i></div><div><i>I forgot all the words</i></div><div><i>held the binding lightning</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>began to burn away</i></div><div><i>we began to burn away</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>held the binding lightning</i></div><div><i>began to burn away</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>the body burns away</i></div>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-64792262201399622572010-05-23T02:55:00.001+02:002010-05-23T02:55:24.043+02:00This bitter earth<object width="370" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jXHGoaEtmFM&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jXHGoaEtmFM&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="370" height="250"></embed></object>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-17034507167283043372010-05-10T01:35:00.001+02:002010-05-10T01:35:30.523+02:00Where to startEverything comes to an end. This is inevitable, and any effort to prevent or fight this fact of life, is a waste of time. It means that you cannot rely on someone else to provide your happiness for you. In true love, there exists no ego, no self that needs nurturing or approval, no subject- or object-matter, and no fear. True love is selfless love.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-87564254029362920052010-05-10T00:34:00.000+02:002010-05-10T00:35:08.582+02:00Moving ZenA mind that has any form of fear<br />cannot have the quality of love,<br />sympathy, tenderness. Fear is the<br />destructive energy in man.<br /><br />Throughout your life advance daily,<br />becoming more skillful than<br />yesterday, more skillful than today.<br /><br />This is never-ending.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-33536094982970536302010-05-08T02:55:00.001+02:002010-07-05T00:44:26.565+02:00If you see her, say hello"And in the flush of the first few days of joy I confidently tell myself (not expecting what I'll do in three weeks only) 'no more dissipation, it's time for me to quietly watch the world and even enjoy it, first in woods like these, then just calmly walk and talk among people of the world, no booze, no drugs, no binges, no bouts with beatniks and drunks and junkies and everybody, no more I ask myself the question O why is God torturing me, that's it, be a loner, travel, talk to waiters only, in fact, in Milan, Paris, just talk to waiters, walk around, no more self-imposed agony... it's time to think and watch and keep concentrated on the fact, after all this whole surface of the world as we know it now will be covered with the silt of a billion years in time... Yay, for this, more aloneness."<br /><br />- <span style="font-style:italic;">from Jack Kerouac's 'Big Sur'</span><br /><br />It's not the 'aloneness' that bothers me. I quite like that part. In fact, I've chosen that part knowingly and willingly. Loneliness has nothing to do with how many people you surround yourself with, rather it's about your ability and willingness to communicate with others, and whether there is any sense in doing so in the first place. How I wish for someone to come and sit with me, look at me, really look at me, and not look away.. for someone to share a moment with me, for someone to be present with me. I only need one person, at times, I think I may need only one moment.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-74119271445414975242010-05-04T02:47:00.000+02:002010-05-04T02:48:46.591+02:00With hope of better days to comeI'd like to write something insightful and uplifting concerning the frightful loneliness I feel at this moment, but I can't think of anything. Besides, you've probably got enough with your own. Whoever you are.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-32009654779254462172010-04-20T00:51:00.001+02:002010-04-20T00:55:44.935+02:00...Do we even exist until we are <i>needed</i> by someone?Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-19928101797392525162010-04-17T02:41:00.000+02:002010-04-17T02:43:11.176+02:00In my tree<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; font-size: 11px; ">I'm so light, the wind he shakes.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; font-size: 11px; ">I'm so high, the sky I scrape.<br />I'm so light, I hold just one breath,</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; font-size: 11px; ">and go back to my nest.<br />Sleep with innocence...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; font-size: 11px; "><br /></span></div></div>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-78846652874584773532009-12-07T01:35:00.000+01:002009-12-07T01:36:14.109+01:005Perceiving what is right and doing it not, argues lack of courage. Courage is doing what is right.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-38927136302975868502009-12-06T01:32:00.000+01:002009-12-06T01:33:07.156+01:004Zen is not a tool. It is an expression of the natural condition.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-62228684043430851922009-12-04T00:02:00.002+01:002009-12-04T00:03:15.422+01:003Start with a single moment.<br />Lose yourself in it.<br />Disappear.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-64166128195132310112009-12-03T01:35:00.005+01:002009-12-03T01:51:55.971+01:001 + 2In becoming a person, first you must disappear completely. Then you must rebuild - rise from the ashes. Become the person you were meant to be. Leave the darkness behind, and be on your way.<br /><br />Everything comes down to time. Every moment is separate. Time is a construction of the mind. We are time.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-29671924535206059382009-10-11T00:38:00.001+02:002009-10-11T00:38:44.233+02:00Autumn Day<em>Lord: it is time. The summer was immense.<br />Lay your shadow on the sundials<br />and let loose the wind in the fields.<br /><br />Bid the last fruits to be full;<br />give them another two more southerly days,<br />press them to ripeness, and chase<br />the last sweetness into the heavy wine.<br /><br />Whoever has no house now will not build one anymore.<br />Whoever is alone now will remain so for a long time,<br />will stay up, read, write long letters,<br />and wander the avenues, up and down,<br />restlessly, while the leaves are blowing.<br /><br />Rainer Maria Rilke<br /></em>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-86882176637422886742007-12-02T02:35:00.000+01:002007-12-02T02:52:21.030+01:00For real<object id="player" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,0,0" align="middle" height="289" width="340"> <param name="movie" value="http://cdn.last.fm/videoplayer/33/VideoPlayer.swf"> <param name="menu" value="false"> <param name="quality" value="high"> <param name="bgcolor" value="#000000"> <param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"> <param name="flashvars" value="embed=true&creator=Okkervil+River&title=For+Real&uniqueName=2793895&albumArt=http://cdn.last.fm/coverart/130x130/2024258.jpg&album=Black+Sheep+Boy&duration=&image=http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/image:320/2793895.jpg&FSSupport=true"> <embed src="http://cdn.last.fm/videoplayer/33/VideoPlayer.swf" menu="false" quality="high" bgcolor="#000000" name="player" allowfullscreen="true" flashvars="embed=true&creator=Okkervil+River&title=For+Real&uniqueName=2793895&albumArt=http://cdn.last.fm/coverart/130x130/2024258.jpg&album=Black+Sheep+Boy&duration=&image=http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/image:320/2793895.jpg&FSSupport=true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" align="middle" height="289" width="340"></embed> </object><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Okkervil River - For Real</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Some nights I thirst for real blood,<br />for real knives,<br />for real cries. </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />And then the flash of steel from real guns,<br />in real life,<br />really fills my mind.</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />Then I really miss what really did exist<br />when I held your throat so tight.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">And I miss the bus as it swerved from us<br />and almost came crashing to its side.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sometimes the blood from real cuts<br />feels real nice<br />when it's really mine.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />And if you want it to be real, come over for one night,<br />we can really, really climb,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">and those blue bridge lights might really burn most bright</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">while we watch that dark lake rise.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">And if you really want to see<br />what really matters most to me, </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">we can just take a real short drive.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Just a drive into the dark stretch,<br />long stretch of night, </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">will really stretch this shaking mind.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />And this room, unlit, unheated,<br />and the ceiling striped,<br />and the dark black blinds.... </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />I want to know this time if you're really finally mine.<br />I need to know that you're not lying,<br />and so I want to see you tried.<br /><br />And I don't want to hear you say<br />it shouldn't really be this way,<br />because I like this way just fine.<br /><br />And there's nothing quite like<br />the blinding light when that curtain's cast aside,<br />and no attempt is made<br />to explain away<br />the things that really, really, really are behind.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">You can't hide..</span>Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7444472.post-5632760249534496412007-12-01T21:53:00.000+01:002007-12-02T00:28:09.247+01:00Time is not on your sideBy treating meditation/awareness/insight as a process, you will always distance yourself from it. It takes place immediately, it is action, you just do it. This is the most important thing you'll ever learn, in fact it is the only thing you must learn. We all try to increase our levels of knowledge; we read books, we discuss and debate and analyze things until we acquire a desirable level of intellectual understanding. But what we are doing is pushing it all in front of us, creating a division between "us", and "it". Insight exists in the present moment. Insight requires immediacy. How can you possibly prepare for insight? Where does preparation end, and insight begin? Time and the idea that improvement is gradual, creates a gap between us and what we label improvement. We will never reach it. If you want to see truth, there must be a revolution, it can not be a series of reforms. Time, improvement, reforms... these are all verbal entities. We create them out of our fear of confronting the present moment, they aren't real - they lead us astray. Fear is always verbal. Fear does not exist in the moment, it is based on experience and memory, and is played out verbally in our thoughts.Refugehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00958180481118404899noreply@blogger.com0