The Curse

She asks, are you cursed?
He says, I think that I'm cured.

No expectations

Take me to the station

and put me on a train

I've got no expectations

to pass through here again

Once I was a rich man

and now I am so poor

but never in my sweet, short life

have I felt like this before

Your heart is like a diamond

you throw your pearls at swine

and as I watch you leaving me,

you pack my peace of mind

Our love was like the water

that splashes on a stone

Our love is like our music

it's here, and then it's gone

So take me to the airport

and put me on a plane

I've got no expectations

to pass through here again

The body burned away

death as it shook you

you gave it a fool's look

you said,

I am an empty page to you

give me your hand,

give me your blood

don't misunderstand,

I once had all the words

I forgot all the words

held the binding lightning

began to burn away

we began to burn away

held the binding lightning

began to burn away

the body burns away

This bitter earth

Where to start

Everything comes to an end. This is inevitable, and any effort to prevent or fight this fact of life, is a waste of time. It means that you cannot rely on someone else to provide your happiness for you. In true love, there exists no ego, no self that needs nurturing or approval, no subject- or object-matter, and no fear. True love is selfless love.

Moving Zen

A mind that has any form of fear
cannot have the quality of love,
sympathy, tenderness. Fear is the
destructive energy in man.

Throughout your life advance daily,
becoming more skillful than
yesterday, more skillful than today.

This is never-ending.

If you see her, say hello

"And in the flush of the first few days of joy I confidently tell myself (not expecting what I'll do in three weeks only) 'no more dissipation, it's time for me to quietly watch the world and even enjoy it, first in woods like these, then just calmly walk and talk among people of the world, no booze, no drugs, no binges, no bouts with beatniks and drunks and junkies and everybody, no more I ask myself the question O why is God torturing me, that's it, be a loner, travel, talk to waiters only, in fact, in Milan, Paris, just talk to waiters, walk around, no more self-imposed agony... it's time to think and watch and keep concentrated on the fact, after all this whole surface of the world as we know it now will be covered with the silt of a billion years in time... Yay, for this, more aloneness."

- from Jack Kerouac's 'Big Sur'

It's not the 'aloneness' that bothers me. I quite like that part. In fact, I've chosen that part knowingly and willingly. Loneliness has nothing to do with how many people you surround yourself with, rather it's about your ability and willingness to communicate with others, and whether there is any sense in doing so in the first place. How I wish for someone to come and sit with me, look at me, really look at me, and not look away.. for someone to share a moment with me, for someone to be present with me. I only need one person, at times, I think I may need only one moment.